The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
