We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
