May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
