Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
