i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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