Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
