Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
