hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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