My sheets look like a crime scene.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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