My hair reeks of homosexuality.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
