yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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