i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
