I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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