She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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