so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
