I faked an abortion last night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
