Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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