dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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