i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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