the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
