He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
