We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
