Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You ate ashes out of my bong
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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