Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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