They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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