I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
