is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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