Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
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