i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
