We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
