How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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