and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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