i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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