Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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