Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
