pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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