I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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