omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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