I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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