I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
