Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Couch. On fire.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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