Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
