..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
