about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
