Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This house was built for laser tag.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
