Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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