she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
