YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't think brook has ever known best
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
