I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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