Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
