He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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