i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
