I'm going to jail i love you
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
home. puking in laundry basket.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
