he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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